As boxes started piling up, I realized that a month from this day could potentially be right around my time for egg retrieval. I have a lot left to accomplish in that time. The movers finish packing for us tomorrow. We leave Friday, drive 6 hours. Sleep. Wake up. Drive 6 hours. Arrive back home to KC. Oh, but our belongings won’t arrive until Wednesday the 5th. My husband conveniently leaves for London on the 3rd! Looks like I’ll be handling the unpacking with a few friends and family members! Not a bad time to enjoy my last couple glasses of wine, eh?
I can’t help but think of all of the things I wanted to do before starting this first IVF cycle. If only I would have lost the holiday pounds I packed on. If only my diet were better. Should I be taking all of these crazy supplements I see people talking about? Should I be doing acupuncture? I’ve been so excited about IVF the past couple of months but as the time approaches I find myself battling the “what ifs”. What if it works? What if it doesn’t? What if I have to tell everyone that it didn’t work? What if I have just wasted all of this money and time? What if I feel guilty about it not working? What will my family think? What will my husband think? It’s incredibly hard to stay positive sometimes. People ask how I feel and I say, “excited!”.. Who are we kidding. We are all scared shitless. Don’t lie!
On a lighter note, I’ve compiled a list of thing I could have purchased instead of paying for IVF! They are as follows:
-Track chimpanzees in Uganda and observe mountain gorillas in Rwanda, climb Kilimanjaro and then cap it off with some relaxation for 13 days on a ship in Fiji. (According to Nat Geo Expeditions)
-23,409 crunchy tacos
-2,317 lbs of chicken salad chick
-18 MacBook pros
-over 5,000 Smallcakes cupcakes
-463 shellac manicures
-32,640 tennis balls